there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
