Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
