Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
