you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize