Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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