as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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