Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
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I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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