"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
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