How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
