just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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