she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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