Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.