So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i will never coherently bang her
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
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Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand