just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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