Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my phone needs a breathalizer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): my phone needs a breathalizer http://tfl.nu/d0rn
  Replies (15) Good night (2286) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her. http://tfl.nu/sljo
  Replies (30) Good night (556) Bad night (2342)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins. http://tfl.nu/7xw4
  Replies (37) Good night (4545) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations. http://tfl.nu/j5w5
  Replies (48) Good night (4803) Bad night (1825)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/pgeg
  Replies (30) Good night (7071) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr
  Replies (17) Good night (2608) Bad night (4020)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid http://tfl.nu/hxiy
  Replies (22) Good night (935) Bad night (4512)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back. http://tfl.nu/jjtt
  Replies (8) Good night (2432) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real... http://tfl.nu/t9kl
  Replies (14) Good night (1111) Bad night (4422)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join. http://tfl.nu/8ui9
  Replies (4) Good night (1859) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass. http://tfl.nu/ll9k
  Replies (4) Good night (547) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference. http://tfl.nu/nnsg
  Replies (9) Good night (548) Bad night (1816)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool

  (1-781): View more from Massachusetts

  The pool is covered.....

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Like that would stop me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool (1-781): The pool is covered..... (781): Like that would stop me. http://tfl.nu/tch5
  Replies (3) Good night (813) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole http://tfl.nu/3dil
  Replies (7) Good night (2462) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm http://tfl.nu/e7hi
  Replies (1) Good night (189) Bad night (357)

Randomize