Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
