I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
