Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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