i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it glows. i had to have it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
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She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened