It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
nutella sex= disaster
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
