Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
