I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
