it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
