I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
