I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
