Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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