So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
please don't ironically join a cult
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