id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
