I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
