At least make sure they are 18
Why
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
