i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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