Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize