Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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