I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I met the friendliest cop last night
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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