i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
