Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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