We got so high we made milksteak
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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