I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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