you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
