You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
