is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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