Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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