so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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