This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
