I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
In other news, I just burned my penis
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Panties = found
Randomize
