He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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