And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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