and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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