The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
