These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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