At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
