i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize