Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
