You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize