I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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