you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i think i just lost a toe
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
