I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize