She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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