Having a random hookup so left but love u
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
