Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
