i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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