its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You made out with two different species that night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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