Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
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I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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