I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
